you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
