I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No subtext here. People are naked.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
