Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
