it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize