i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
