she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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