I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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