I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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