I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize