so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
