I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why do cheetos always look like penises
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
