Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
