i think my tv is drunk
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
