Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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