i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
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he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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