Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
