He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
