you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
