Heybabeimwearingurpanties
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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