suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
