Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
