just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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