yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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