Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
