Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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