I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize