super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
