I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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