in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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