He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
