No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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