did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
