How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
