He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
