College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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