I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
