i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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