Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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