Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
