Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
