i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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