So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
