she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
