She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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