I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
