I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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