he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
