hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize