hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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