im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
