Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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