The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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