Can i not drive my cunt home
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize