yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
