I just pynch a tree in the face
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
