i think i have two assholes
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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