Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".

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(806): View more from Texas

I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

Jesus, are you hammered?

(701): View more from North Dakota

Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.

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(216): View more from Ohio

every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend

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(903): View more from Texas

You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right

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(209): View more from California

You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures

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(513): View more from Ohio

I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick

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