The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
