I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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