Your face is a jimmy john
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
