So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
