I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
