Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
