Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
