Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
