Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
nutella sex= disaster
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize