I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
