doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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