he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Will exercising make me less horny?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
