So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Are we still banned from the library?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Randomize
