Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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