I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
