Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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