its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
