You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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