The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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