Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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