why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
