Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
