My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
