so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize