is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We had sex on a dog bed..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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