Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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