I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
