Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
