You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
