We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
