Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
