thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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